I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
