went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
