i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
