he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
