That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
