i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
