I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
