one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
