woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
