She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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