Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
