I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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