i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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