Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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