it was like his penis was on wheels.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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