I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
