Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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