Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
