Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
