so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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