Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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