make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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