she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
