Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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