We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
