he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
