so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
