Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
