So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
