I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
