Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
