I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
