ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
