I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
