I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
