yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
