im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
