this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
