I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
