1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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