You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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