He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
