Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
