dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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