is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
