you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no, he came in my armpit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
