I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
