I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
