We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
