ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
home. puking in laundry basket.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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