and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
