Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
