Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
