***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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